Happy Birthday, Patrick

News flash: many days, living with a high school senior is not a picnic. A few years ago, some friends told me that there comes a point during your kids' senior year that you actually look forward to them graduating and leaving for college. These walls are feeling way too constricting to my boy these days.

So I need to revel in the great days, which thank God, there are plenty of, otherwise I would be pulling out the baby books on a daily basis, trying to remind myself of why I love him so much. This past week had more than its share of special moments because my son turned 18!!!! (Don't bother doing the math on my age -- I will confess that I had him at age 16, so that makes me 34.)

Patrick scored two parties this year, only because one was a surprise party I planned at a fun caribbean restaurant a few days before his birthday. The other was a party he planned -- a superbowl/x-box/chili fest at our house. So that meant I had to make two cakes, and they were doosies.

Making his cake each year always reminds me of his first birthday party. As a new mother, feeding my perfect child only healthful foods, I was determined not to start him on a life addicted to fat and sugar. I had nursed him for the entire first year and carefully accustomed his palate to non-sweet tastes, introducing the veggies before the fruits, making homemade baby food, serving cereals straight instead of swirled with applesauce. I was adhering to the recipes in What to Expect in the First Year, and I wasn't about to spoil my diet-nazi standards with one birthday party, so within those pages I found a "special" recipe for First Birthday Cake, made with no sugar, just concentrated apple juice or bananas, "naturally" sweet ingredients, some whole wheat flour, and DEFINITELY no chocolate. I was so excited to tell my mother and aunt and friends about the delicious yet nutricious cake I planned. It was a complicated recipe, and as I recall, that was a pretty uncooperative frosting, but I finished the beautiful cake for my beautiful, healthy baby boy, placed it on my cake stand, lit the candles, and served it with such pride, mentally chiding all the older mothers in the room who had already poisoned their kids with death-cakes over the years.

Patrick blew out the candles, and I sliced it up to serve all the guests, and I remember thinking to myself that maybe I needed a sharper knife because it was pretty hard to cut.... Uh-oh. One of the little kids took his piece eagerly and poked his finger across the frosting to get a quick fix, but the cake kind of skidded across his plate on impact: the icing was almost impenatrable. Uh-oh. I looked around the room and saw the silent glances between my in-laws and my friends. The nicest of the guests choked down a few bites. Most of the kids didn't even take a piece. And even poor baby Patrick barely swallowed a taste. If you can call it taste. Cardboard might be yummier. That night, my mother-in-law, who rarely if ever intruded, told me, "You did a great job today; it was a wonderful first birthday party. But take my advice: serve him healthy foods all year long. But on his birthday, give him a big, sticky, rich, messy chocolate cake."

Patrick had requested Tiramisu for his cake this year, a departure from his usual New York Cheesecake. I decided to make that for the home party, reasoning that most kids wouldn't care for it, and those same kids would be full from chili and zillion snacks. I was wrong. The oohs and ahhs from a bunch of high school kids surprised me; kids today are pretty food-hip! I used Giada's recipe on foodnetwork.com, which is not quite as good as the traditional preparation, but takes a fraction of the time and certainly tasted delicious.

For the restuarant surprise party, I made the classic: dark chocolate layer cake with milk chocolate frosting, perfect for loading with candles and singing loudly around. I have used that cake recipe many times, but I had never tried the frosting becuase I have had so many chocolate frosting failures in my baking life. They often separate, or never thicken enough, or harden to the point of cake-ripping while spreading. That puts me in a bad way and results in a kitchen tantrum, never a festive birthday event. But THIS frosting was awesome. I even made a mistake early on, adding the entire 1 1/3 cups confectioners sugar to the custard step instead of reserving most of it for the beating step, and the recipe still turned out perfectly. Here is the recipe from the Feb. 2004 Gourmet (I told you I would miss that magazine!) for Chocolate Layer Cake with Milk Chocolate Frosting.

Both cakes were big and delicious and very special for an important milestone day. This might be harder to swallow than that cake 17 years ago, but I will say it: my mother-in-law was right. Happy Birthday, Patrick. I love you every single day, more and more each year.